An in-depth analysis of The Boozecan’s review methodology.

or: Here’s how we see it.

So recently, and probably partly due to more exposure thanks to our partnership with the good peeps at Granville Mag, we’ve had numerous fellow boozehounds asking us what our “parameters” are for reviewing places. Hey, we’re glad you asked, but WTF? Parameters? It’s drinking, for God’s sake. We’re not stress-testing aircraft aluminium or measuring the effects of monetary policy innovations on macroeconomic variables in a primarily agrarian society…whoah…headrush. Believe us, we’re not that smrt anyway. Drinking, like most of life’s rich experiences, is the sum of its parts.

Here’s how we look at it, and in no particular order: Did we enjoy ourselves? Were the drinks good (ie made from scratch with a modicum of care)? Did the place have a good atmosphere? Were the bartenders/servers/people cool? If not, at least interesting in a circus-sideshow-freaky or Tourette’s syndrome kind of way. And last, but certainly not least, did we get boozy good value for our hard-earned dollaz? That’s about it, folks. When we started this thing, we decided we’d tell it like it is, just like you’d tell a friend. No punches pulled. No sugar coating it. No siree, Bob.

Boiling it right down, if we stumble out of some über-trendy, high-end, chi-chi martini lounge where the drinks sucked, we’ll more than likely tell you to avoid it. On the other hand, if we come across a total dive where going to the bathroom requires a security escort and malaria pills, but the drinks are great (or cheap), we’ll likely recommend it. That’s it in a nutshell.

But remember, in the end, like any “review”, it’s just an opinion. And we’re just a couple of opinionated dick-heads who could barely organize a piss-up in a brewery. Or could we? Hmm…