10 Irish Facts You Probably Didn’t Know*: To appeal to varying tastes around the world, Guinness is actually produced in 17 different flavours including wintergreen, roast chicken, and baking soda. The experience of the Irish émigré  can be summed up in three words: “Far and Away”. The aforementioned movie can be summed up in just two words: shit sandwich. Contrary to popular belief, diminutive actor Tom Cruise is not a leprechaun. He can, however, lead you to a giant fucking pot of Scientology money. Corned beef and cabbage is a great pre-drinking meal. It will also ensure that your St. Paddy’s day vomit is of a thick, creamy consistency. Kissing the Blarney Stone is said to endow the kisser with the gift of the gab. “The gab” is Irish slang for “cold sores”. The potato was brought to Ireland from Peru by the infamous Spanish conquistador, Frito Lay. It’s a shame Bono won’t shut his fucking cake hole. Jameson’s whiskey is great in cocktails and other breakfast foods. The Kennedy family may be of Irish descent, but their giant, scary teeth were cast in the fires of Mordor. In fact, they can gnaw clean through a telephone pole in 4 minutes flat. The British government’s Weights and Measures Department has officially classified (ex-Pogues front man) Shane MacGowan’s urine as “overproof”. * ‘cause they’re all mostly a total load of blarney. Except that thing about Bono.

10 Irish Facts You Probably Didn’t Know*:

  • To appeal to varying tastes around the world, Guinness is actually produced in 17 different flavours including wintergreen, roast chicken, and baking soda.
  • The experience of the Irish émigré  can be summed up in three words: “Far and Away”. The aforementioned movie can be summed up in just two words: shit sandwich.
  • Contrary to popular belief, diminutive actor Tom Cruise is not a leprechaun. He can, however, lead you to a giant fucking pot of Scientology money.
  • Corned beef and cabbage is a great pre-drinking meal. It will also ensure that your St. Paddy’s day vomit is of a thick, creamy consistency.
  • Kissing the Blarney Stone is said to endow the kisser with the gift of the gab. “The gab” is Irish slang for “cold sores”.
  • The potato was brought to Ireland from Peru by the infamous Spanish conquistador, Frito Lay.
  • It’s a shame Bono won’t shut his fucking cake hole.
  • Jameson’s whiskey is great in cocktails and other breakfast foods.
  • The Kennedy family may be of Irish descent, but their giant, scary teeth were cast in the fires of Mordor. In fact, they can gnaw clean through a telephone pole in 4 minutes flat.
  • The British government’s Weights and Measures Department has officially classified (ex-Pogues front man) Shane MacGowan’s urine as “overproof”.

* ‘cause they’re all mostly a total load of blarney. Except that thing about Bono.

Posted at 9:08 AM (2 years ago) | Permalink