The Boozecan hits Tales of the Cocktail for some libation edumaction.

If you’ve ever been to a conference of any kind, you know they can range from so incredibly informative you think your brain might pop like a balloon, to so dull you feel like your skeleton will leap out of your body and beat what’s left of you to death. So more often than not, the best part of these gatherings is the booze. It’s either the only break your grey matter gets, or the only escape. Then there’s Tales of the Cocktail. A three day “conference” (for lack of a better term) that’s just all about booze. So, you know, for rubes like us, um…WIN!

Unless you’ve been hiding in that crawlspace under the stairs eating expired Cold War c-rations for the last 10 years, you’ll know that the whole cocktail culture has seen a massive resurgence, with a whole new breed of bartenders & drink enthusiasts obsessively giving their creations the same devotion, care, and attention-to-detail Michelin-rated chefs would give to their last meal.

So it stands to reason that in this day in age someone’s going to figure out a way of getting all these alco-geniuses together in one place to share recipes, techniques and probably more than a few bar horror stories. That’s where Tales of the Cocktail comes in. TOTC (as it’s affectionately known) is probably THE premier cocktail festival, in North America, if not the world.

TOTC started out in New Orleans, where it’s been going gangbusters for eight years now. But this year by some miracle, the Gods of Alcohol smiled upon us, the great planetary martini glasses aligned, and they decided to take the show on the road to none other than our humble little burg: Vancouver. Three days of speakers, seminars, demos, competitions–and before you think it’s getting haughty–a pub crawl. And yea, The Boozecan shall attendeth.

Stay tuned for a day-to-today recap (with writing getting progressively shittier as the days go on).

The Metropole - 320 Abbot Street - www.themetpub.ca

Last week we were graciously invited to another Donnelly acquisition/relaunch - The Metropole Community Pub at 320 Abbot Street in the Downtown Eastside.

The Metropole was established in the historic neighbourhood of Gastown in 1906 and is one of Vancouver’s oldest surviving pubs. Previous to this launch, it was one of those “blink and you miss it” kind of places, and probably not a destination drinking spot for the average Vancouverite. Although Donnelly Hospitality Management has done some definite “Donnelly style” renovations complete with what is becoming their trademark “everything black” décor and 14 flat screen TVs in a fairly small footprint.

Wait a minute, what? 14 TVs? Again? Holy jumpin’ Jesus H. Underpants! We have a suggestion, why not just drink at home and watch “The Donnelly Experience” on TV? A full Donnelly TV channel - all Donnelly, all the time. Much like that fireplace they play continuously on TV during the Christmas holidays, this would consist of people sitting around on bar stools, the occasional ‘virtual pint’ poured, and a lot of background “bar noise” dubbed in to really immerse yourself in the drinking experience. Crack a beer and you’re there. Hmm, we may be on to something.

But we digress, back to The Metropole and the booze!

The new pub seems to be a lower-end version of their other Donnelly offerings. A bit more gritty. This could be due to their “Downtown Eastside” location. The beer offerings seemed to be a lot less costly and local compared to Cinema’s imported line-up. (Click here for our previous review of Cinema)

On tap are sleeves of Kokanee, Okanagan Spring 1516, Granville Island Lager, Pale Ale, Honey Lager and Winter Ale which can all be had for $4.50. The only imports here were Guinness and Strongbow which go for $7.25 for a pint. (We didn’t get to check if it was a proper pint.)

Bottles of beer are $5.25 with the list as follows: Budweiser, Canadian, Kokanee
Alexander Keiths IPA, Sleeman Honey Brown, Corona, Pacifico, Red Stripe, Kronenbourg, Heineken, Stella Artois and Dos Equis.

Cocktails are $8.50 and are fairly standard and they have a selection of Tequilas, Scotch and other whiskeys.

Daily Drink Specials:

Mondays:
$3.50 Sleeves, $5 Doubles, $8 Can of Beer n Shot

Tuesdays:
$12 Domestic Pitchers, $8 Can of Beer n Shot

Wednesdays:
$3.75 Domestic Sleeves, $8 Can of Beer n Shot

Thursdays:
$6.50 Doubles, $5.25 Import Pints, $4.25 Drop Shots, $8 Can of Beer n Shot

Fridays:
$7.25 Doubles, $8 Can of Beer n Shot

Saturdays:
$7.25 Doubles, $4 The “Cure” (aka Caesar), $8 Can of Beer n Shot

Sundays:
$4 DOMESTIC SLEEVES, $5 Import Pints, $6 Vodka Redbulls, $4 The “Cure” (aka Caesar), $8 Can of Beer n Shot

For entertainment purposes there are 2 pinball machines, Golden T Golf & Big Buck Shotgun arcade games and a pool table to boot.

But to be honest, we think the coolest part of this pub is the fact that Donnelly Hospitality Management and their charitable arm, the Donnelly Fund have worked it out so that the pub will donate 25% of its annual profits to organizations in the Downtown Eastside such as United We Can, the Downtown Eastside Women’s Center, the Vancouver Food Bank and Gallery Gachet. Who would have thought that drinking could have a philanthropic angle?

All in, it’s sort of a pared down, budget version of the usual Donnelly steeze. With stiff competition from neighbouring Gastown pubs, time will tell whether The Metropole makes the transition from ancient sketcheriffic drinking hole to successfully gentrified pub.

One final note: off sales are available at the bar!

The Boozecan perspective: Our 2010 Olympics Experience Recap

Yep, it’s another recap of the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. Sick of them yet? We are too; however, as The Boozecan, we’re probably going to say the things you wish the media had said! Read on to find out what everyone is and was, really thinking. If you want, skip to the point-form lower down and we’re sure you won’t be disappointed!

We won’t reiterate the fact that The 2010 Olympics here in Vancouver won over most cynics, pessimists and skeptics like ourselves. We won’t bore you with the outpouring of Canadian pride that radiated from the epicenter of Vancouver and washed over the whole of Canada.  We’re not going to list the medal winners, as you know who they are. You were either lucky enough to attend a live event, and if not, you were glued to some giant LCD screen, in some bar, just like we were. Cheering like raving lunatics with absolute abandon alongside strangers who suddenly became your best friends. It could have been gold medal tidily-winks - if Canada was playing - Canada was cheering! We don’t even want to mention that Canada broke the record for the most gold medals won at a single Winter Games (26 in all, 14 Gold, 7 Silver, and 5 Bronze) because as Canadians we’re far too modest for that.

No. What we do want to tell you about is OUR Boozecan experience. Is this too “touchy-feely” for The Boozecan? Maybe, but the reality is that this event changed us. Don’t go thinking for a second that we’ve become sappy nice-guy pushovers or sentimental jerk-wad metro-sexuals. Hell no; but the Olympics changed Vancouver, it changed the way the World sees us and it changed us as Vancouverites. As The Boozecan we still remain unflinching in our integrity to bring you the truth, good or bad, take it or leave it.

So here go our not-so-obvious observations (or maybe they’re completely obvious and you knew this all along and you’re apparently much cooler than us) of the highs, lows and whatever elses of Vancouver’s 2010 Winter Olympics Games … point form style:

• It was beer o’clock - all the time.
• Twitter was invaluable for passing up-to-the-minute information on happenings and house line-up wait times.
• Transportation was amazingly efficient. (See what happens when you provide good service Translink? People use it.) Translink’s hours of operation still lacked forward thinking though. Late nights and early closures left folks stranded.
• Downtown was packed with people, lively, and crackling with energy. Vancouver was finally behaving like a mature city.
• All kinds of folks from all over the city, province, country and the World from different nationalities were all having a great time. Everyone was extremely friendly. Even douchebags and the Bridge & Tunnel crowd were fairly tolerable.
• “Oh Canada” was sung spontaneously by crowds of strangers. Beautiful. It should happen more often.
• The Olympic Cauldron did look a bit like Superman’s Fortress of Solitude but that made it even cooler.
• Sour grapes #1 - Great Britain: UK we loves ya but “Worst games ever”? Odd, but Munich ‘72 seems to hold that title in our minds. Get a fucking hockey team and then you can bitch about the ‘Slippery Olympics’. Good luck in 2012, we’ll remember this when it’s your turn. By the way … nice logo, you prats.
• Sour grapes #2 - Russia: Just because you lost doesn’t give your media the right to get bitchy and accuse the Canadian Team of doping in the next day’s press.
• Sour grapes #3 – U.S.A.: Team U.S.A. Coach Ron Wilson says (in front of Mike Babcock Team Canada Coach) “Sometimes, the best team in the tournament doesn’t win a gold medal.” Excuse me? That’s not what your GM, Brian Burke was saying – he thought you (Team U.S.A.) were LUCKY to even BE in the finals. He thought the Canadian team was the best - and he was right! Honourable sour grapes mention: Apolo Anton Ohno: “You know, it is the head Canadian referee [Michel Verrault] out there,” said Ohno, with a smirk and a shrug. “And there were two Canadians in the race.” (Regarding his disqualification for pushing a Canadian – also not the first time he’s been looped into controversy.) Classy. Get over it, you lost. Whining is unbecoming of you.
• CTV’s haughty tart Lisa LaFlamme, was condescending and supercilious. It turned us on!
• The Boozecan particularly loved it when the Dutch speed skater Sven Kramer called NBC reporter on her idiocy.
• We also loved it when NBC reporters confused Terry Fox with Michael J. Fox during the speculation of who would light the Olympic cauldron. Nice fact checking.
• Our Canadian Olympians are certainly getting better looking (comparatively to days of yore) – both the chicks and the dudes. (Yeah, we’re secure in stating that.)
• The various Olympic Houses had line-ups for hours to (honestly) drink $9 cups of beers (not even close to a pint) in a fucking tent. (YES, we did this, YES, we had fun, but seriously. If you dig tents just wait for “The Boozecan House” coming to you this summer. We’ll make you stand in line for 5 hours to get into a Canadian Tire “Woods” 6 man tent, then sell you a can of beer for $9 and kick you out the back zipper. Fuckin’ Eh!)
• The free entertainment line-up over the 2 weeks was amazing although unfortunately for us working stiffs we never got close to getting in. (Lining up smacked of effort.)
• We ventured outside the “Olympic zone” to give love to the unofficial “Gastown House” and get some reprieve from Olympic pricing.  Cheers! You know who you are and we’ll be back! #2010niceprices!
• The Sin Bin on West 2nd, became THE 24 hour booze joint to drink with Olympians and the VPD seemed to turn a blind eye. Thanks VPD! Cheers!
• Protestors, pessimists and general nay-saying idiots were drowned out by the pride of a city and of a nation. (Fuck you hipsters and hippies.)
• There were #2010profiteers and #2010niceprices - we shamed the first and promoted the latter. (Shame on clubs & restaurants gouging during the Olympics ‘just because you could’.)
• Hangovers were a daily occurrence and of Olympian proportion! (Canadians “Owned The Podium” on that shit.)
• The Women’s Gold medal, Canada Hockey Team became our heroes for celebrating with a drink on the ice … WAY after everyone left. The scrutiny was bullshit and ridiculous.
• Jon Montgomery, Canadian Skeleton Gold medalist also became a hero of ours as he immediately hoisted a pitcher of beer handed to him and slugged it back to celebrate his Gold medal victory.
• The VPD imposed early closing times on downtown liquor stores. (A point of contention for us. We understand the reasoning but it’s the way they went about it. Vancouver continues to treat responsible adults like children because of the Bridge & Tunnel folks that can’t seem to handle their booze let alone the responsibility.) Boo VPD. We still love you though.
• The Black Bloc mischief was thwarted and it was also a pathetic attempt at ‘anarchy’ – idiots can’t even cause mayhem properly. (Fuck you, you hippy shit heads.) We’ll say it for you because you can’t VPD. It was hippy stomping time! YEAH! We hope you kicked some shaggy ass – off camera of course.
• Canada reigns supreme in hockey, as we should! Congrats to both the Men’s and Women’s teams. You made us PROUD! (Our adversaries did make us work hard for it though!)
• Emergency room visits surged as drunken revelers were treated for intoxication, and injuries from fights or falls. (Honestly we didn’t see any fights but we’re sure they happened.)
• All 181,000 hours of Curling was shown on TV but only 20 minutes of something exciting like Half-Pipe. (WTF CTV?)
• AMAZING Cinderella ending for Canada: we dominate Gold medals, we dominate Hockey, we dominate Olympic spirit – best winter games EVER!
• Litres upon litres of beer, spirits and wine was consumed. (Duh.)
• Over the 17 days of the Games, police did 21,000 liquor “pour-outs,” issued 1,230 tickets for drinking in public and 253 for being drunk in a public place. Another 93 people were arrested for breach of the peace. Good times! Seriously, that’s all? Nice work Vancouver! Gold medal to us as a city!
• Exhaustion was achieved by The Boozecan and our cohorts.
• Finally, two words … inflatable beavers.

We spend a night in the slammer.

Well, not quite. Last week we (along with a group of other local writers and bloggers) were fortunate enough to be invited on a mini tour of the Vancouver Police Museum courtesy of museum Executive Director Chris Mathieson and the good folks at Sumac Ridge wineries. What’s one got to do with the other you ask? Everything, as Chris pointed out. Vancouver’s a city built on a hard-drinkin’, hard-livin’ logging town that was, to put it mildly, heavily involved with Johnny Law from the get go and its history is inextricably linked to booze.

Housed in what was once the old city morgue and crime lab, this best kept Vancouver secret shouldn’t be. This is the kind of gritty history everyone digs, and they’ve got it here in spades - from collections of real gangster-era Tommy guns and a plethora of other confiscated weaponry to historical crime scene photos, actual evidence and gobs of police gear from every era. Hell, they still have the old cadaver drawers and autopsy room in place! Gruesome? Depends on your point of view. We’d say more morbidly fascinating. The prohibition-era history as you might guess is right up our (dark) alley.

Chris’ informative little tour completed, Sumac’s founder Harry McWatters gave us the lowdown on his winery’s story (which is pretty much a history lesson on the BC wine industry in general) and best of all (no offense, Harry) treated us to a sabering demo and a tasting of their “Tribute” sparkling wine made in honour of Canadian Olympic athletes. And all in the tiled comfort of the old autopsy theatre. Now we don’t claim to be wine experts, but “Tribute” is a nice one - dry and crisp - kinda like Harry’s humour. Plus $1.25 from the sale of each bottle goes to the Canadian Olympic team. Imagine, drinking to support people - what a concept…

Folks, we implore you to visit this great little museum. It is, in our opinion, the best in Vancouver. And it’s completely self-funded. No government grants or even funding from the very city it honours. So make a plan to check it out, it’d be a bargain at three times the admission.

Thanks again to Chris Mathieson and Harry McWatters.

Vancouver Police Museum - Details Here

Sumac Ridge Estate Winery - More Here

The Charlatan

Another of our trusted haunts. Why? Because it’s a nice joint for a start. But more importantly, The Charlatan is all about the sweet, sweet beer – fourteen different ones to be exact. Take your pick of 7 domestics – Whistler Premium Lager & Pale Ale, Big Rock Traditional & Grasshopper Ale, Sleeman Honey Brown Ale, Okanagan Springs 1516 Lager, and good ol’ Alexander Keith’s IPA. And all for under $5 a pint.

But it gets better, beer-hounds.Take your pick from a damn fine line-up of imports for $5.75 a pint. And not too many that you’re overwhelmed with choice - or worse yet, they sit in the pipes going stale. You can merrily drink your way across five different countries with Guinness, Kilkenny, Stella, Hoegaarden, Kronenburg, Heineken and Newcastle Brown. Seriously, Newcastle Brown! Not an easy beer to find on tap in this town.

And if you’re into those “combo” pints, Black Velvet, Black & Tan, and the always mental Snake Bite, they’ve got those too. Got to give the draught Strongbow Cider a mention too - always a good thing.

“Another trusted haunt”